What to Write in a Death Notice: Guide and Examples

Writing a death notice is a task that arrives at the worst possible moment and has to be done quickly. It follows a form most of us have read a hundred times and never studied. This guide sets out the elements a notice usually contains, the choices you have to make, and three example notices you can adapt.

What a death notice typically contains

Conventions vary from country to country and even between regions, so treat what follows as a checklist of common elements rather than a fixed template. Read a few recent notices in your local newspaper before you write — ten minutes of reading will tell you more about the norm where you live than any general guide can.

Most notices contain some combination of:

an opening line or short phrase setting the tone
the person's full name, often with the name they were commonly known by
date of birth and date of death, or age
where the death occurred, stated plainly and without detail
the names of the surviving family, in a conventional order
practical information about the funeral or memorial service
a line about flowers, donations, or other wishes
occasionally a short verse, line of poetry, or quotation

You do not need all of them. A notice of five lines is not a lesser notice. Length in printed publications is usually priced by the line or column, which is a practical constraint worth knowing about before you write four paragraphs.

Opening words and describing relationships

The opening is where most people freeze, because it is the one part that is not factual. A few patterns recur across languages and cultures: a simple statement of loss, a statement of gratitude, a statement of peace, or no opening at all — just the name.

Then comes the harder question: how to describe who the person was to the people left behind. The instinct is to list every role — mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, friend, colleague — and the result reads like an inventory. It is usually stronger to choose the two or three relationships that defined the person's daily life and let the rest be carried by the list of names that follows.

Be careful with warmth. Words like "dear", "beloved", and "irreplaceable" work once. Used in front of every name they lose their force, and a notice that describes eleven people as beloved says less than one that describes none of them.

Order of names and family members

This is the part that causes real friction in families, and it is worth handling deliberately rather than by accident.

The most widely used convention is to move outward from the person: spouse or partner first, then children in order of age, then their partners, then grandchildren, then siblings, then the wider family. But there is no universal rule, and the order carries meaning that people notice. Blended families, estranged relatives, long-term partners who were never married, stepchildren, and former spouses who remained close all present genuine questions.

Three practical suggestions. First, decide the principle before you decide the list — age order, or closeness, or a simple grouping without hierarchy — and then apply it consistently. Second, if someone's inclusion is contested, err on the side of inclusion; a name left out of a notice is remembered for decades. Third, show the draft to one other person in the family before it is published. Almost every dispute about a notice is a dispute that a single phone call would have prevented.

Some families avoid the problem entirely by ending with a collective phrase — "and all the family", or "and everyone who loved him" — rather than a full list.

Symbols and their meaning

Notices often carry a small symbol beside the name. Which symbols are used, and what they signify, differs considerably between countries and faith traditions, and the same mark can read differently in two places. A cross, a star, a flower, a candle, a dove, a simple ornamental rule — all are in common use somewhere.

The safe approach is to look at what appears in recent notices in the publication you are using, and to choose something that reflects the person rather than a default. If the person was not religious, a neutral ornament or no symbol at all is entirely conventional. Nobody reading a notice counts its absence as a failure.

"No flowers" — and the alternatives

A memorial wall for someone you miss. Photos, stories and greetings from everyone who knew them, in one calm place.

Many families now ask for something other than flowers. The reasons are practical as much as anything: a large number of arrangements can overwhelm a small chapel, and cut flowers last days.

If you want to make such a request, the wording matters. A bare "no flowers" can read as a rebuff to people who wanted to do something. Softer formulations work better: asking that any gift be given elsewhere, or naming what would be welcome instead. Common alternatives include a memorial donation to a cause the person cared about, a single flower brought to the service rather than a formal arrangement, or an invitation to contribute a memory rather than an object.

That last one has become more common as families create a digital memorial page for the person. Including its address in the notice — with a line inviting people to add a photograph or a memory there — gives everyone in the wide circle around a death something concrete and useful to do, and it costs nothing to those who cannot travel to the service. If you are considering it, What Is a Digital Memorial Page explains how one is set up, or you can look directly at the memorial wall page.

For the full range of alternatives and how to word the request, see "No Flowers, Please" — What to Give Instead.

Three example notices

These are fictional. Adapt freely — the names and phrasing are placeholders, not models to copy word for word.

Short

Our mother and grandmother Maria Halvorsen born 4 March 1938, died peacefully 12 January 2026. Thomas and Elena, with families. The funeral will be held privately.

Medium

With love and gratitude we announce that our dear Thomas Berg born 21 June 1951 died at home on 3 February 2026, surrounded by his family. Elena Maria and Daniel Sofia grandchildren, brothers and sisters The service will be held on 14 February at 13:00. Rather than flowers, we warmly welcome a memory or photograph added to his memorial page.

Longer

Elena Marchetti 9 September 1944 — 27 January 2026 Our mother, grandmother and great-grandmother has died, after a short illness and a long life she was glad of. She worked for thirty-one years as a teacher, kept a garden that everyone in the street benefited from, and was, to the end, the person the rest of us called when something needed sorting out. Maria and Thomas Daniel Sofia and Anna, with families and all who loved her The funeral or memorial service will be held on 8 February. Details from the family. In place of flowers, we would be grateful for a donation to a cause she supported, or for a memory shared with us.

Practical: where and how notices are published

Where a notice appears depends entirely on where you live. Local and national newspapers remain the traditional route in many countries; in others, notices are published primarily through the funeral director, through a cemetery or parish office, or online. Funeral directors handle submission as a matter of course and will know the deadlines and formats for the publications in your area — ask them first, because they do this weekly and you are doing it once.

Three practical points regardless of country. Check the deadline before you write, since publication cut-offs are often a day or more ahead of print and can be earlier than families expect. Check the cost and how it is calculated, as this may determine your length. And proofread names and dates twice, ideally with a second reader — a misspelt name in a published notice is the single most common regret families report, and it cannot be undone.

If someone will also speak or write at the service, How to Write a Eulogy or Memorial Tribute covers that separate task.

Finally, keep a copy. The notice is often the only formally written account of the death, and years later someone will want to read it again.

If the notice is one item on a longer list of things that suddenly need doing, When Someone Dies: A Practical Checklist sets out the wider picture in a calmer order.

Friends and colleagues who read the notice will often want to send a card. Point them to our 45 sympathy card messages if they ask what to write.